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I'll say exactly what I said in a similar thread some umpteen years ago...and that is: as the fishstick has stated, relationships have to heal before you can start it again. no matter what, if y'all eventually get back together, it will be different. if nothing else, she has exposed a "moral" weakness...a big no no...and that can bring a greater sense of trust in the relationship. however, the blinders should be off at this point. she's not perfect...she's a person...and a person who made a bad, and (thanks rat) overly melodramatic choice. i think that if you want this relationship to work...whether that be as a couple, or as friends...you need to really let the old relationship die. if she finds someone else in the interim, then it wasn't meant to be. she should be willing to work on it...you say "no sex" for a while...well, a "relationship" with no sex is basically the development of a solid friendship. however, if you don't change the ground rules of your old relationship, then you're more than likely going to be stuck in a cycle with her. i hate to say it, but in some sense I doubt she will respect you if you just take her back. the subconscious message is that she can walk all over you, and you'll let it slide.
so you have to ask yourself - i think: is cheating something you will tolerate, or is not? if it is, then welcome to the monkeyhouse. if it's not, then you have to ask yourself - i think: do you actually really seriously care about her? if not, then fuck it. let it go. if you do: then do you love her enough to be her friend, regardless of where that takes your relationship...and even if you don't end up back together as a couple?
i think you've got to reboot the system if there's any chance of a healthy relationship...whether that be as lovers or friends.
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You don't love me, you just love my piggy style
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