My guess is that she's finally telling you this stuff because a) she values your friendship and trusts you or b) would like you to back the fuck off. I'm leaning more towards B.
As Fresnelly put it, you are acting jealous, possessive, and bitter. Everything an ex (or current bf) would do, not a friend. If it's been that long and you haven't realized how OBVIOUS it is that she doesn't want you, then I think you should end the friendship. Part in good terms. As you get older, you realize that sometimes you have to let people go. No matter how hard it is.
Not trying to be rude or anything. /:
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