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It sounds like you are lacking the confidence to say "I know that I will be able to find a great girl who loves me in the future." This may be the reason why you choose to stay in touch with a wretched person who does not respect you and makes very poor life choices. You have made a very respectable life choice to serve our country and (I am assuming) be an upstanding citizen, while she has allowed herself to participate in maladaptive behavior with unseemly individuals. I don't know you but I can absolutely assure you that you can do better.
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"Religion is the one area of our discourse in which it is considered noble to pretend to be certain about things no human being could possibly be certain about"
--Sam Harris
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