Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - If someone who might be gay contacted you out the blue

Strange Famous · 07-12-2008, 02:07 PM

And said "lets go out for a beer" - would you take it at face value, or think he might be like asking for a date?

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This is what's happened. There was this guy I worked with, who left the co I work at about 2 years ago. At work I was friendly enough with him but we never socialised or anything. I havent seen him since he left work, although I did add him as a friend on facebook when I was just browsing from people from work, and he sent me one message about the football team I run and I registered him as a player with Suffolk FA, but he never has turned up for training or even said he was available to play

At work he wasnt openly "out" gay, but I and a lot of people assumed he was because of his persona, etc.

And yesterday, from my perspective out of the blue he sends me a mail on facebook asking to I want to go out for a beer.

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Now, I am not any kind of homophobe, and I have nothing against people being whatever sexuality they feel like being - I have a few mates which are homosexuals or lesbians, and I mean it doesnt bother me to have a drink with a guy who happens to be gay.

But if he actually means to ask me out on a date, I dont really feel like doing that and I just see it being awkward and messed up.

I dont think anyone at work thinks of me as gay, or if so Ive never heard about it - I mean, I AM straight and have dated people at work even - so I figure on the one hand he couldnt be asking me "for a date" since he knows Im not gay; but on the other hand it just does sound a bit wierd that for someone I havent met in two years to just be like "lets go out for a drink" - I mean there are any number of social occasions he could come along to if he wants to catch up with people from work - I just think its kinda odd.

I mean, if I mailed a girl and asked if she wanted to go out for a beer, most likely I'd mean it as a date, but obviously I cant judge everyone by my own personality, and maybe Im just being paranoid or stupid about it... I dont know - what do you think?

07-12-2008, 02:07 PM	#1 (permalink)
Strange Famous follower of the child's crusade?	If someone who might be gay contacted you out the blue And said "lets go out for a beer" - would you take it at face value, or think he might be like asking for a date? __ This is what's happened. There was this guy I worked with, who left the co I work at about 2 years ago. At work I was friendly enough with him but we never socialised or anything. I havent seen him since he left work, although I did add him as a friend on facebook when I was just browsing from people from work, and he sent me one message about the football team I run and I registered him as a player with Suffolk FA, but he never has turned up for training or even said he was available to play At work he wasnt openly "out" gay, but I and a lot of people assumed he was because of his persona, etc. And yesterday, from my perspective out of the blue he sends me a mail on facebook asking to I want to go out for a beer. __ Now, I am not any kind of homophobe, and I have nothing against people being whatever sexuality they feel like being - I have a few mates which are homosexuals or lesbians, and I mean it doesnt bother me to have a drink with a guy who happens to be gay. But if he actually means to ask me out on a date, I dont really feel like doing that and I just see it being awkward and messed up. I dont think anyone at work thinks of me as gay, or if so Ive never heard about it - I mean, I AM straight and have dated people at work even - so I figure on the one hand he couldnt be asking me "for a date" since he knows Im not gay; but on the other hand it just does sound a bit wierd that for someone I havent met in two years to just be like "lets go out for a drink" - I mean there are any number of social occasions he could come along to if he wants to catch up with people from work - I just think its kinda odd. I mean, if I mailed a girl and asked if she wanted to go out for a beer, most likely I'd mean it as a date, but obviously I cant judge everyone by my own personality, and maybe Im just being paranoid or stupid about it... I dont know - what do you think? __________________ "Do not tell lies, and do not do what you hate, for all things are plain in the sight of Heaven. For nothing hidden will not become manifest, and nothing covered will remain without being uncovered." The Gospel of Thomas