Addiction is defined by the consequences, not by how it makes you feel. In my mind, she's starting to stack up consequences without any alteration in her behavior. Were my wife acting this way, I too would suspect alcoholism - it's insidious, and it can hide in "having a good time" when you live in a society so permissive of addiction as ours.
Unfortunately, I don't know what the "solution" is.. all I can say is that I feel a good deal of sympathy for you, because its understandably a position where you can be hurt easily. By the by, you're an incredibly concise and descriptive writer - I remember thinking it when I read the first one, and again in this one. I'll read about your woes any day.
