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little_tippler · 05-05-2008, 05:38 AM

I think it's interesting how this whole conversation about porn goes round and round but doesn't actually get to the centre of things, which to me is - why do guys look at porn?
Yes, I get it that they all do. Lots of women do, including myself. I can only extrapolate from my own reasons for it. I find it exciting to see others having sex. I find it exciting to look at hot naked men who I don't know and imagine stranger-sex. Overall, it's not a rational thing for me. It just gets me off. And it is separate from my everyday reality. The essential point here is, that the mind is a powerful sexual organ. That's why I can understand guys looking at porn. Of course, it doesn't help if you're feeling insecure, to find out your guy is looking at porn.

I'm not sure I understand your boyfriend. You pressed him to explain why he's looking at porn and he decides to tell you that it's because he likes to fantasize about women who are not you (proceding then to point out your flaws)? That is just mean, to me.

Maybe he was angry. But that damage is likely irreparable.

Here's the thing: I have been in a similar situation where I have been told that there are things about me the other person didn't like, after spending years together. And I recall vividly feeling sick to my stomach from then on, reliving every time we'd had sex and thinking he was actually feeling turned off simultaneously...it still makes me sick to remember. I personally will never put myself there again.

There's not much else I can say except that I think there's plenty of men out there who will take you for who you are and will, at the very least, be a lot more tactful. Sorry.

05-05-2008, 05:38 AM	#10 (permalink)
little_tippler Leaning against the -Sun- Super Moderator Location: on the other side	I think it's interesting how this whole conversation about porn goes round and round but doesn't actually get to the centre of things, which to me is - why do guys look at porn? Yes, I get it that they all do. Lots of women do, including myself. I can only extrapolate from my own reasons for it. I find it exciting to see others having sex. I find it exciting to look at hot naked men who I don't know and imagine stranger-sex. Overall, it's not a rational thing for me. It just gets me off. And it is separate from my everyday reality. The essential point here is, that the mind is a powerful sexual organ. That's why I can understand guys looking at porn. Of course, it doesn't help if you're feeling insecure, to find out your guy is looking at porn. I'm not sure I understand your boyfriend. You pressed him to explain why he's looking at porn and he decides to tell you that it's because he likes to fantasize about women who are not you (proceding then to point out your flaws)? That is just mean, to me. Maybe he was angry. But that damage is likely irreparable. Here's the thing: I have been in a similar situation where I have been told that there are things about me the other person didn't like, after spending years together. And I recall vividly feeling sick to my stomach from then on, reliving every time we'd had sex and thinking he was actually feeling turned off simultaneously...it still makes me sick to remember. I personally will never put myself there again. There's not much else I can say except that I think there's plenty of men out there who will take you for who you are and will, at the very least, be a lot more tactful. Sorry. __________________ Whether we write or speak or do but look We are ever unapparent. What we are Cannot be transfused into word or book. Our soul from us is infinitely far. However much we give our thoughts the will To be our soul and gesture it abroad, Our hearts are incommunicable still. In what we show ourselves we are ignored. The abyss from soul to soul cannot be bridged By any skill of thought or trick of seeming. Unto our very selves we are abridged When we would utter to our thought our being. We are our dreams of ourselves, souls by gleams, And each to each other dreams of others' dreams. Fernando Pessoa, 1918 Last edited by little_tippler; 05-05-2008 at 05:40 AM..