OH MY G*D. That sucks.
I think your only way out is to reach out to Ben Stiller.
Seriously. I'm sure a little google work and you could locate his agent. Write him a sincere email where you explain the situation and ask for help. Celebrities love doing self-congratulatory stuff like that. Barak Obama called some low level reporter to apologize for "messing up his game".
BTW, high five for being a goi-toy. I've been there.
As for me? I've had a few asshole/idiot moments.
- Back in high school, I hated boy-bands. I really did. More than that, I hated how it would turn intelligent women that I was interested in into bumbling morons. It was probably a combination of music elitism and jealousy. Neeways, I was seeing this girl and she wanted to go see
LFO, who were big at the time. I kinda went off on her. I didn't yell, but I used the word "disappointing" in a massively condescending way. Looking back, I deserved to be dumped and a whole lot more, but she simply went without me and tried to sleep with one of them.