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Well, sexually is one thing. What I emotionally need to be able to have sex is something else.
Sexually, I need to feel desirable, of course. I also like a guy who will take control on occasion, but who can also be gentle when required. I need a guy who pays attention, isn't afraid of telling me what he wants, and who will listen to what I want also. A guy who will be patient and wants to get to know my body. Lastly, I pretty much need to come. No matter how great everything is, best foreplay in the world, best oral, etc., to hell with all that stuff about there's a lot more to sex than just the big O, ok so there is, but I need it at the end or I feel... like something is missing.
Emotionally, I need to be in tune with the person I am having sex with. I am no fan of one-night stands, make-up sex or any of that. Things have to be good between us or the sex will be half-hearted. It could be anything from having had an argument that day to just feeling misunderstood...it could still be great for him, but for me, I just won't be feeling it.
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Whether we write or speak or do but look
We are ever unapparent. What we are
Cannot be transfused into word or book.
Our soul from us is infinitely far.
However much we give our thoughts the will
To be our soul and gesture it abroad,
Our hearts are incommunicable still.
In what we show ourselves we are ignored.
The abyss from soul to soul cannot be bridged
By any skill of thought or trick of seeming.
Unto our very selves we are abridged
When we would utter to our thought our being.
We are our dreams of ourselves, souls by gleams,
And each to each other dreams of others' dreams.
Fernando Pessoa, 1918
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