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Kahn · 03-17-2008, 01:45 PM

I'm a bit late responding to this thread, but being in a similar situation more than once myself, I thought my input MIGHT be of some use.

Let me begin by congratulating you on doing what must be the hardest thing you can possibly imagine right now .. ending the relationship to save yourself further pain/torment. I KNOW that has got to hurt internally to the core and it takes a huge amount of courage to take that kind of step. Trust me when I tell you this, it WAS necessary.

From everything I've read in this thread, your initial post, your added comments thereafter, and all of the replies, it is clear to me that there is no other solution available to you BUT the one you administered. This woman, however wonderful in every other aspect BUT being intimate with you aside, was clearly not giving you what you needed most .... and I don't just mean intimacy. She refused to give your feelings respect. You told her honestly how you felt, and she dismissed those feelings without remorse. The fact that she recoils from your attempts at intimacy indicate two things very strongly: 1) she has past issues that MUST be tended to by a professional therapist, whether you remain in a relationship with her or not .. or .. 2) she is simply not attracted to you in a physical capacity. It is even possible that both possibilities are true. Some people believe that they can string you along until something better to/for them comes along so they simply don't have to be alone while they wait for their Mr/Miss Right. It is a cold reality and it sucks, but it does happen all too often.

Don't beat yourself up over this. You did the right thing, however painful and hurt you may feel. Take the time to rediscover YOU, and put aside this situation with her until you are healed up from it some. If there should come a time to confront her about it, you MUST INSIST that she seek professional help (therapy), because the "problem" isn't going to mend itself or just go away. It's not a bad idea to go speak with a therapist yourself about all this either. Sometimes it is the best medicine to talk to a complete stranger about our problems, if only to feel like someone actually cares enough to just listen to you .. and who better to talk to than a paid professional who KNOWS how to listen and interject with safe, sage advice.

I feel your pain, I truly do, but I swear to you that it WILL get better. Just talk with someone you can trust about all this .. face to face .. and get it dealt with so that you can move on .. either with her .. or without her.

I wish you well

03-17-2008, 01:45 PM	#34 (permalink)
Kahn Psycho Location: Physically in Houston, TX - Mentally Lost in Time	I'm a bit late responding to this thread, but being in a similar situation more than once myself, I thought my input MIGHT be of some use. Let me begin by congratulating you on doing what must be the hardest thing you can possibly imagine right now .. ending the relationship to save yourself further pain/torment. I KNOW that has got to hurt internally to the core and it takes a huge amount of courage to take that kind of step. Trust me when I tell you this, it WAS necessary. From everything I've read in this thread, your initial post, your added comments thereafter, and all of the replies, it is clear to me that there is no other solution available to you BUT the one you administered. This woman, however wonderful in every other aspect BUT being intimate with you aside, was clearly not giving you what you needed most .... and I don't just mean intimacy. She refused to give your feelings respect. You told her honestly how you felt, and she dismissed those feelings without remorse. The fact that she recoils from your attempts at intimacy indicate two things very strongly: 1) she has past issues that MUST be tended to by a professional therapist, whether you remain in a relationship with her or not .. or .. 2) she is simply not attracted to you in a physical capacity. It is even possible that both possibilities are true. Some people believe that they can string you along until something better to/for them comes along so they simply don't have to be alone while they wait for their Mr/Miss Right. It is a cold reality and it sucks, but it does happen all too often. Don't beat yourself up over this. You did the right thing, however painful and hurt you may feel. Take the time to rediscover YOU, and put aside this situation with her until you are healed up from it some. If there should come a time to confront her about it, you MUST INSIST that she seek professional help (therapy), because the "problem" isn't going to mend itself or just go away. It's not a bad idea to go speak with a therapist yourself about all this either. Sometimes it is the best medicine to talk to a complete stranger about our problems, if only to feel like someone actually cares enough to just listen to you .. and who better to talk to than a paid professional who KNOWS how to listen and interject with safe, sage advice. I feel your pain, I truly do, but I swear to you that it WILL get better. Just talk with someone you can trust about all this .. face to face .. and get it dealt with so that you can move on .. either with her .. or without her. I wish you well __________________ Attention everyone: We have another potential asshole in the area ! You don't have bad luck, the reason bad things happen to you is because you're a dumbass !! Dinner $50 Drinks $30 Motel $40 Finding out she swallows - PRICELESS!!!