ratbastid

My favorite disaster scenario, the Zombie Apocalypse, calls for a somewhat more local response.

SAFE-HOUSE: The first thing to do is to find someplace readily defensible and well stocked with provisions. It's unlikely you'll find those two things together, so plan a route to your chosen safe-house past somewhere you can find abundant non-perishable goods. You don't want to be traveling more than a few miles, and you DON'T want to walk.

Zombies are very VERY stupid, but they're relentless and driven by an insatiable hunger for living flesh. If you can hide somewhere that there's absolutely NO indication of your presence, you're golden. An underground bomb bunker or fallout shelter is ideal, especially if it's already well stocked with non-perishables.

Another approach is to find a facility designed for security--a military installation, prison, or other such environment. If it's been more than a few days since the zombie outbreak, you can expect to have a chore ahead of you cleaning out the facility, but once you do, it should keep you good and safe. Just remember that if you're too obvious about your life-status, you WILL attract zombies, and enough zombies WILL push down fences, walls, and doors. So keep a low profile.

EQUIPMENT: Although the classic zombie-dispatching equipment consists of a chainsaw and a shotgun, any weapon that can deliver adequate cranial trauma will work, including all manner of handguns, rifles, clubs, sporting goods and hand tools. Ideally your chosen weapon allows you to take them out without getting too close--remember, one bite and you're a goner. If your facility has a guard tower or securable roof, it'll make a good sniper nest. If you're holed up in a military installation or police station, look around for any sort of bite-proof clothing you can find. While full riot gear would be ideal, a bullet-proof vest, leather coat or motorcycle helmet is better than nothing. Although zombies move very slowly, it's easy to fixate on the ones in front of you and get surrounded--some bite protection could give you the moments you need to get away.

PROCEDURES AND TECHNIQUES: Periodically, you'll probably have to go out from your bunker and clear out the zombies that will have accumulated around the area. Unless you're very well hidden you'll draw the nearby roamers, and they will draw others, and so on, and so on. Inevitably, you'll end up with a bunch of zombies clustered outside your facility--so you want to blast a hole through them (or find some other way past them) and draw them away from your facility, picking them off one at a time as they advance on you. Don't waste ammo--one shot right through the skull is what you're after here. And watch your back! You definitely don't want to get surrounded, and the gunfire will attract zombies who aren't already on the scene. Once you've cleaned house, you'll want to burn the bodies. Remember: zombies can't scale walls, but they CAN shamble up a wall-high pile of zombie corpses. Bodies burn well, being made largely of fat.

First aid will be critical. Depending on which zombie tradition is coming true, you may already be infected with the zombie virus. In that case, even if you die of natural causes you will come back as a zombie. That's okay for you, but no good for anybody else you're holed up with. In such traditions, zombie bites don't transmit the virus, they just cause death. That's good news, because it means if you're quick enough amputating a bitten limb, you can escape death and zombification. Ideally you'll have a doctor, medic, or nurse holed up with you who can perform the amputation. You're not likely to have much access to antibiotics, so don't forget the antiseptic properties of alcohol.

SURVIVAL: The next thing to deal with is whether you expect to be locked down for a long time (A.K.A. "the duration"). A good way to know whether this is a minor, local infestation or a global apocalypse is to see if TV and radio stations are still broadcasting. The minute the news goes off the air, you're in trouble. Remember, the further away the signal is coming from, the more it tells you about the scope of the outbreak. If you can find satellite TV, that's the most likely to still be broadcasting, and if it is, there's a good chance there's still a military to mount a rescue. If not, prepare to fend for yourself, because the whole system has broken down. N.B.--you will likely need a generator to power the TV in question, as the local electrical system will almost certainly be offline. Likewise, if you still have running water, boil it before drinking.

If it is look like like a permanent situation, you want to start thinking agriculture. Even the biggest stash of canned goods won't hold out forever. A few raised garden beds on the roof can keep you in the veggies year round, in some climates. Northern zombie survivors will want to grow as much as they can during the growing season and do whatever they can to preserve it--pickling is an option, if you have access to salt. Use rain barrels or other containers to capture rainwater.

Good luck, survivor!