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let me understand this, so is the not cleaning up and cooking a dealbreaker?
if somehow the place was clean and food on the table but not done by you or her is that still a dealbreaker?
maybe the kids need to be brought to bear on solving this since you two are back in school and probably don't have the funds to cover someone else coming in to clean up.
Assign one of the kids as part of their chores to delegate and clean up the house.
If you'd like to hire someone to come in a clean, maybe she takes a part time job to pay for it.
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