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I'm the other side of this: I'm friends with most of my exes. I have no intention of getting back together with any of them, though. If their boyfriends are concerned, they're welcome to speak to me like an adult. I can calmly explain to them that I am a proponent of the code, and would never try to break people up.
That said, I am always protective and I have no problem protecting them from an abusive (physically, emotionally) boyfriend/girlfriend. If you're dating my ex and hurt her, expect a friendly visit.
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