Originally Posted by abaya

No. There's a HUGE gray area between wanting to be with a guy who's not a bum, and wanting to be with a guy who has money and can therefore "provide for you." I can provide for myself, and have worked hard to get to the point where I am financially salient without any man being present in my life, thanks. Does that mean that I want to be married to a slacking-ass bum who settles for the lowest common denominator of jobs? No. Just as I would expect my husband to not want ME to be a bum, I equally would like for him to not be a bum. It goes both ways. Why the hell would I expect someone to "take care of me" just because I have a vagina, and he has a penis? Seriously.

It's not about hunting/gathering or which set of genitalia you possess... it's about being mature enough to take responsibility for your own life, financially, emotionally, and in every other way. That means BOTH partners (male, female, gay, straight, what have you) being financially stable and able to handle their own money matters. It means BOTH partners carry their own emotional weight and deal with their own shit without projecting it onto their partner, and being willing to seek out counseling when needed (on their own!). It means being responsible for yourself first, and for your partner next (regardless of gender), and for your children together.