I feel a lil silly for even posting this after the experiences Sharon and Hyacinthe have shared. That's some really rough shit to go through
But I'll share my most crushing break up none the less.
A couple of years ago my best friend had broken up with his girlfriend while they were overseas. I was kinda friends with her too, but didn't really know her all that well. My best friend decided to stay in the US because he was a dual citizen, and she came back home to finish her degree.
Our home town isn't the most hip and happening of places, in fact, it's fucking boring. When she got back, we sorta just started to chill out together because there wasn't much else to do and we enjoyed each others company.
As time went on, we started to become exceptionally close friends, and I really started to fall for her in a huge way. I knew my friend wasn't going to have a problem with us going out, but for some reason, I just found all these reasons to not let her know how I felt, even though I knew she would have been keen. I was a bit of a pussy back then.
It finally got to the stage I couldn't keep it in any longer and I had to tell her how I felt. It was an awkward situation, we'd planned to move to another city together, it was something we both really wanted to do, and telling her these feelings could potentially fuck everything up. So, I told her how I felt, and she was keen to give things a try. Words can't describe how happy it had made me.
From that particular moment, to the time we next saw each other, two days had lapsed, and we hadn't spoken to each other because we'd both been busy. When we next saw each other she told me that we couldn't go through with it, she just couldn't see me as any more than a close friend, and us being together was going to be too weird and difficult.
I really loved this girl, balls to bones loved her. Hearing that crushed me like nothing else. What made it harder was I couldn't just be angry at her, I'd told her to be completely honest with me in order for this to work or for our friendship to still be salvageable if things didn't work out. She was just being honest with me, and really, it's hard to find people who are like that. She knew it would crush me, and she hoped to god it would destroy our friendship, but she flat out said to me she wasn't going to lead me on or lie.
We stayed friends, if anything, it made us closer. But when we all moved city with our other friend, I ended up falling for her again. And then she found herself a man, and it totally destroyed me.
That little incident caused me to loose a lot of weight, I only weighed 48kg for a while. I caught a flu which had really taken it's toll, and I slid into an awfully dark depression, began drinking heavily alone.
I made an awful mistake by moving into a house with her when we all move up north, a truly awful mistake. But it was an important one to make. I grew some stones and dealt with all my shit, found who I was, and manage to get over her.
We're still very good friends to this day, even though we live in different cities now.
Love is a total bitch sometimes, but after having felt that pain, I'll certainly appreciate the next time I feel great joy in the arms of another.