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Originally Posted by abaya
That's me as well. Believe me, I ENJOY being penetrated... that's not the problem. The problem is that other than masturbating with a vibrator, I can't come from vaginal penetration, period, and with oral, it still takes 15-20 minutes (if I'm pulling on the bedframe to clench my abs; otherwise I might never come). If I'm doing it myself (i.e. fingering myself like mad during anal), then it does happen much faster... but that depends on a lot of other things as well.
I think in general, I have to be super turned on and wet (lots of foreplay and mood-setting, e.g. anticipation/secrecy, music, lighting, dirty talk) in order to come quickly, and that doesn't happen often. Most of my orgasms come from oral (slow) or masturbation (too fast, and rather lonely), that's it. It's extremely frustrating.
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Abaya, my empathy is with you. My wife likes a finger inserted when I am licking her, and when she gets horny she likes the "idea" of being fucked, but she seems to lose her excitement after just a few minutes of actual intercourse (which seems not to be the case with you). My wife "goes through the motions" for my benefit, but she is not a good actress. And, in fact, she has told me she gets nothing from it. It is all too clear that she is ready for me to finish after a minute or so of coitus. This explains why my fantasy at this moment is very simple and straight-forward: I am having intercourse with a woman who enjoys it.