MrTia

I've been a big fan of these really detailed movie reviews for parents where they list in EXCRUCIATING detail exactly what sexual, violent, or vulgar content might be contained in a movie; the effect of reading a bunch of these in a row can be quite a bit more shocking than watching the movies themselves.

so i've wanted to do this for a while: based solely on the description of said risque content, name the movie being described. maybe i'll start doing one of these every friday, depending how bored i am. all of these movies are currently out in theaters (in the US, anyway...)

i think these will be pretty easy, but the descriptions are so funny i couldn't resist.

1. a giant syringe (we don't see an injection), chases, fights, explosions, abductions, interrupted robberies; character and her dog get mugged but are fine. Canine sexual innuendo, toilet humor.

2. A steamy kiss; implied overnight liaison; hints of adultery -- a cuddle with a colleague; drinking; smoking; rare strong profanity. Not for tweens.

3. Bone-crushing fights, lethal gunplay; foot chases, car chases are breathlessly shot and could induce motion sickness in some; mild profanity. BOURNE ULTIMATUM -- ONODRIM

4. Character skateboards naked; characters drink and smoke -- including, at times, kids; pious Christians spoofed; mildly crude language; rare profanity; brief bedroom scene; two gay policemen kiss, enter a motel; robot suicide gag.

5. Drug humor; very strong profanity; drinking; smoking; nudity; body falls out of coffin; strong sexual innuendo; homophobic humor; gross toilet humor.

6. Explicit sexuality; nudity; strong profanity, sexual language; talk of an aid worker who sexually abused Third World children; a skinned pig cut in half at a market; drinking; smoking.

7. Highly explicit sexual language; drugs, drunkenness; squirm-inducing scene about menstrual blood; drawings of male sex organs; semi-explicit sexual situations -- mild compared with the language.

8. High-speed chases, crashes, people run over; gunplay; vicious dog chases kids; infected man, covered in slime, dies after a seizure; people jump to their deaths; Character stalked in a subway tunnel; verbal account of a man killing a pet; a muted kiss; Character seen briefly in translucent sleepwear; drinking; mild profanity.

9. Martial arts face-offs with fists, blades, sticks; high-speed chases; gunplay; leering but nonthreatening sexual innuendo (and a bit of sexism); ethnic, racial stereotypes spoofed; racial slurs referred to by first letters only; implied toplessness among dancers; briefly lewd but nonexplicit sexual situation; rare profanity.

10. Nongraphic boxing scenes with bloody noses, swollen eyes; one use of the F-word; mild sexual innuendo; drinking, smoking; verbal references to an abusive childhood, with a scar to show for it.

11. Sexual themes refer to teen longing, masturbation; subtler hints of cross-dressing, homosexuality; sounds of protagonist's mom and her new lover having sex; teens kiss steamily, drink, smoke; profanity.