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Originally Posted by krwlz
Id slightly disagree. Why do you think so many men can actively look for a one-night stand? And that's far more intimate than rubbing one out. I'd say that most men, once the clean up is over, don't ever think about the masturbatory experience ever again. At least until the next time they rub one out.
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Thank you for agreeing to disagree. Men do one-night stands because they desire intimacy but are afraid of (or are otherwise opposed to) long-term commitments. This goes back to my previous post about emotional responses to sexual experiences. Masturbatory experiences are seldom memorable because they are numerous for many of us. That doesn't mean they aren't influenced by emotions. (Continue reading, if you will.)
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Originally Posted by Menoman
If you can't understand that is how it really is, you won't understand why this really isn't a big deal to a guy.
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So why do we do it nearly everyday? Are you're saying you don't get any pleasure from it?
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Originally Posted by Frosstbyte
Many guys (myself certainly included) just feel an impetus to do it, and often. I can't even imagine thinking of masturbation as being as emotional an experience as sex. It's just something we do and we dont' spend any time thinking about it. It's a rush and then it's over.
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And... how would you explain that "rush"? Do you enjoy it? Does it make you happy and put you in a good mood? We are one of the few animals who enjoy sex for pleasure. Our sexual drives are linked to our emotional being...they are closely related if not being part of the same system. The thing about emotions is that we
don't think about them; that would be counterintuitive. I think the problem here is that most men deny their emotional states. The stereotype that men don't think things through...do you think that's because of an absence of reason? Maybe. But I think it is because of emotional states that cloud reason, rather. Want to know what I'm talking about? Read some articles on depression in men as a start. Pretty scary, actually. I can direct you to some, if you like.
Back to the OP, this is why there is such a problem. The fact that her boyfriend "cranked it up a notch" by having actual photos of her friends is a really hurtful thing to do. It is that step closer to a form of direct desire for those women. How does he handle himself when he's around them after having masturbated to them using their realistic likenesses? Would it also be okay if they were photographs of her mother? His mother? They aren't "just photos." You shouldn't oversimplify.
[BTW, all those puns really were unintentional. Consciously speaking anyway.]