Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - May-December Relationship

albania · 07-26-2007, 04:44 PM

Hi, it has been a while since I last posted on TFP; incidentally, I remembered recently that I had an account here and since I am somewhat bored I thought I might post again. The impetus for this post is Google. I was watching some television and came across the phrase May-December relationship a couple of times. I know what the phrase means, but I wanted to know where it originated from (I’m still curious about that if anyone knows). In any case, I came across other things on the internet such as message boards for people in those types of relationships.

To anyone who does not know a May-December relationship is one in which there is a big difference in the age of the partners. As I was reading some of the posts, all I could think about how wrong in some way some of the relationships seemed. In particular, I was bothered by a relationship where the man was almost 30 years older than a young woman who was 19. It seemed to me that the man wasn’t really falling in love with the young lady as much as he was falling in love with the idea of being, or rather feeling, young again.

Likewise, I was also wondering why a young girl would want to date an older man? Reasons that I have heard and read are akin to something about maturity, or perhaps a man who has it “all figured out” if you will. As I remember the same things could probably be said about half the members of the AV club (to those who may want to ask, no, I wasn’t in the AV club, but I can easily admit I was a looser in high school). Yet, I have never seen any 19 year old dating a geek in high school. This leads me to posit that perhaps a motive behind dating an older man is the appearance of being a sophisticated woman who has somehow grown intellectually beyond what may be the accepted norms of society. That ultimately it may be an image issue; dating an older man conjures up one picture in someone’s mind, while dating a member of the AV club may conjure up a totally different one.

Well, this has become rather longwinded for a guy who hasn’t posted here recently. So I think I’ll leave it at that, and ask for your opinion on the matter. That is, what do you think about May-December relationships? I’d like to make it clear that I don’t have a problem with anyone who is in this type of relationship and I don’t want to really judge the private life of others. God knows there are more screwed up reasons to date people than the ones I've listed above. I didn't mention this, but my curiosity is concerning relationships where money is not the driving force. Also, since I don’t particularly like to read long posts I’ll apologize in advance to anyone who actually read all that and wants their time back.

07-26-2007, 04:44 PM	#1 (permalink)
albania Psycho	May-December Relationship Hi, it has been a while since I last posted on TFP; incidentally, I remembered recently that I had an account here and since I am somewhat bored I thought I might post again. The impetus for this post is Google. I was watching some television and came across the phrase May-December relationship a couple of times. I know what the phrase means, but I wanted to know where it originated from (I’m still curious about that if anyone knows). In any case, I came across other things on the internet such as message boards for people in those types of relationships. To anyone who does not know a May-December relationship is one in which there is a big difference in the age of the partners. As I was reading some of the posts, all I could think about how wrong in some way some of the relationships seemed. In particular, I was bothered by a relationship where the man was almost 30 years older than a young woman who was 19. It seemed to me that the man wasn’t really falling in love with the young lady as much as he was falling in love with the idea of being, or rather feeling, young again. Likewise, I was also wondering why a young girl would want to date an older man? Reasons that I have heard and read are akin to something about maturity, or perhaps a man who has it “all figured out” if you will. As I remember the same things could probably be said about half the members of the AV club (to those who may want to ask, no, I wasn’t in the AV club, but I can easily admit I was a looser in high school). Yet, I have never seen any 19 year old dating a geek in high school. This leads me to posit that perhaps a motive behind dating an older man is the appearance of being a sophisticated woman who has somehow grown intellectually beyond what may be the accepted norms of society. That ultimately it may be an image issue; dating an older man conjures up one picture in someone’s mind, while dating a member of the AV club may conjure up a totally different one. Well, this has become rather longwinded for a guy who hasn’t posted here recently. So I think I’ll leave it at that, and ask for your opinion on the matter. That is, what do you think about May-December relationships? I’d like to make it clear that I don’t have a problem with anyone who is in this type of relationship and I don’t want to really judge the private life of others. God knows there are more screwed up reasons to date people than the ones I've listed above. I didn't mention this, but my curiosity is concerning relationships where money is not the driving force. Also, since I don’t particularly like to read long posts I’ll apologize in advance to anyone who actually read all that and wants their time back.