My father is Dutch, and as some others have observed on this board, our family is VERY Dutch in attitudes, despite my mother being an American.
Quote:
|
One of the strong points of the Dutch family, he says, is that it is very open and communicative. Relations are generally good between parents and children and they can talk about almost anything.
|
I would say this is absolutely true. My parents and I talk about everything from sex to drug use. Both my parents know that I smoke pot, and it's nothing to us to enjoy having beers together--my parents took me out on my 21st birthday for a tour of a major Seattle microbrewery (my dad and I drank roughly 60 oz. of beer in half an hour together
). My mom knew the day after I lost my virginity, and was surprised I hadn't had sex sooner (I would say I didn't because my parents DID talk about it and encouraged me to make smart decisions regarding my sexuality). They even let me go to a rave in high school--I was the only person in my school who probably never had to sneak out. All I had to do was ask, and I also knew I could call home at any time and Mom or Dad would come get me, wherever I was. I had no curfew, because I would just let them know what I was up to, and if I was going to be late, I would let them know. The only time I ever did have a curfew was the first summer after I had started college, and that was just because Dad had to drive to work in the morning, and so he wanted the car in the driveway by a certain time.
Overall, I think my parents did an excellent job of raising me, and I want to do the same by my children. Already, as a nanny, I try to encourage open communication between myself and the children, and fortunately I work for people with very progressive attitudes. I don't think I could work in a more conservative situation.
Some anecdotal evidence regarding rebellion: I lost my virginity at 19. By comparison, my two most conservative Christian friends, raised by very right-wing Americans, lost theirs at 15 and 17 respectively. The first girl also has three children now--the first at 16, the second at 18, and the third at 20. The second girl has two children--the first at 19 and the second at 23. I know from their conversations with me in the past that sex for them was something dangerous and risky, and a way of acting out. I had no such need. This is how my family reacts to sex: My mother got me on birth control at 17, and when we went to the doctor for my exam, the doctor gave me the opportunity to speak with her without my mother present, but I didn't have anything to tell her--there is literally nothing I am not comfortable telling my mother.
In fact, once I tried to rebel by telling her I was going to get my nose pierced.
She responded by saying she knew a piercer and she would make an appointment for me, and we could go together.
My nose is still not pierced.