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I'm really missing something, but if I understand correctly...
I'd use a label that makes everyone comfortable. This might be something to just sit down and discuss meaning. Obviously there are many wrong answers, because they downplay or misrepresent the state of the relationship. I like beloved a lot, just in general, but I'm not sure it's descriptive enough. I keep coming back to the idea of inventing a label. 'Companion in love' might be nice. 'Third partner' is descriptive, if a bit cold. 'Other better half' made me chuckle a bit. 'Madam' seems a bit naughty.
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