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first match there is nothing wrong with going out with a member of the opposite sex 1-1. they're not only things with the differing genetalia than yourself, but they're also people. i don't think you're going to find much contentment worrying about that sort of thing. in fact, i think you'll go nuts.
i don't know that i'd necessarily ascribe her going out and not telling you as an indication of "cheating" or "lying" so to speak; she shouldn't technically have to tell you everyone she hangs out with. you'd think she would in a fully developed open relationship, but frankly i don't get the feeling you're really cultivating that kind of relationship. all these tests, all this sneakery...it doesn't look good from my point of view. all this concern for who she's going out with, when she's going out with them; that sort of concern is infectuous. you give off possessive jealous vibes that she picks up on. trust me. i'd almost guarrantee you do it. i've been there. i've seen it.
honestly, out of context, i see nothing wrong with her response to the message. she said she'd take him places in ...errrhh...wherever. does it have a lot of places for one to be taken? is it an exciting place where the decision should be obvious?
i agree with some others above that i think this relationship is probably sort of fucked in the short term; i disagree in putting it all on the girls side. i think its mutual. i think she's not being as honest and up front with you as she could/should be, and i think you're freaking out a bit too much about her and her boyfriend from the 9th grade.
do you have reason to believe that she might have particularly strong feelings for this guy? also, is this really about her hanging out with her ex from 9th grade, or about you feeling she misrepresented herself on the sex she had with the 27 year old playa from the himalayas?
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You don't love me, you just love my piggy style
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