I go to entirely too many funerals so I've learned a lot. Take everything out that can be given to other people. The cardboard box costs about $200. Shove me in it, light that shit on fire and I don't care what you do with it. Dump 'em, flush 'em, it just doesn't matter... it won't be me. No memorial service, a big party please... with Guinness on tap. I'll leave cash for the body disposal, but I'm making someone else fund the beer.
That's what I want. What will probably happen is that some sap will decide that I didn't know what I was talking about and arrange some service or something.
What I
don't want is
His Eyes Is on the Sparrow, the story of David, the altar call, some asshole talking about his life before he was saved... I'm still traumatized from the jerk at a 10 month old kid's funeral preaching/shouting, "I used to DRINK, I used to SMOKE, and y'all forgive me if I'm going too deep here, Lord forgive me, I used to look at
PO'NOGRAPHY..." over his teeny tiny casket. He was 10 months old for pete's sake. Ass.