My funeral ritual will go as follows:
All I ask as my final request as I depart from the land of the living would be to completely and thoroughly wrap naked body in seaweed - twice, then subsequently soak my remains in formaldehyde for about 14 hours. Afterwards, remove my cadaver from the formaldehyde solution, allow a 4-hour drying period on atop of a relatively-high mountain, whilst flinging heaps of ground pepper at my stiff, standing corpse. The next procession would be to roll my body through a field of dandelions in the plains of the midwest (never been
) after a light spring rain shower has washed upon the land.
Finally, after my body has been retrieved and properly mummifed as per my above instructions, would I embark upon my last dying wish to be flown to the Great Barrier Reef surrounding the small continent of Australia, so that my body could be integrated among all the marine life, thereby returning me to where I sprung forth from. The last ceremony would consist of my mummified seaweed-laden coprse being set afire at the signal of sunset, then magnificently flung into the ocean by manner of a hand-built trebuchet, so that my flaming body would streak amazingly across the evening sky before I am inevitably extinguished by the calm warm-waters of the expanse.
In a sense, this will be my "FINAL BLAZE OF GLORY" before the "SUN SETS UPON THE HORIZON" that was my life.
-- Or... I could save $38,000 and be left to feed upon by the wolves.
Either way is fine.