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I want it to be the silliest, most disrespectful spectacle ever, ever. People who know me know I'm silly and serious stuff bores me.
I want to have an open casket and I want to be wearing clown paint. I want my kids and grandkids to honk my big red nose. During the procession, I want Bing Crosby's "It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year" to be blasted, because I love Christmas. I've already recorded my eulogy to myself, which some of you may be lucky enough to see some day. If I happen to have a lot of money to burn when I die, I'd like to be shot into space, but otherwise, I'm being planted right under an oak tree.
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