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bermuDa · 03-19-2007, 08:09 AM

I love the Illustrator work, but the final product feels rushed. If this is going into your portfolio, I would recommend redoing the composition. While I like the idea of stating the car's name and displaying the logo; their size and placement cramp the real work that's on show here--the car.

For the text: It's far too big and busy. The font itself may fit the mood, but it's not really necessary to have such a complicated gradient with a competing gradient stroke. If you wish to keep the stroke, consider making it solid or some variation instead of a horizontal multi-banded gradient. Also, I hope that you are using the proper method of stroking text (on the outside, behind the text), instead of unnecessarily invading both the positive and negative space of the font.

The numbers need to be more carefully kerned; partially because of the outline and partially because of the numbers themselves, the 1 and 9 are making out and leaving the 4 and 8 holding hands at a distance. Whether the stroke stays or goes, the numbers need to be kerned. Also, they seem to be set on a higher baseline than "Town." If they were aligned with the top of the T, it's distracting for two reasons.

1) the word "Town" has one capital letter followed by several lower case letters, making the baseline already far more dominant than the cap height, and
2) since this is a stylized font, the top of the T actually comes to a point, which is a very precarious place to create a horizontal relationship with another group of text. Furthermore, the arm (of the T) is at an angle that further throws off the horizontal balance of the text.

Now that those issues have been addressed, what to do about placement? Personally, I would take the whole 1948 Town & Country text block and shrink it to maybe, 50% of what it is now. You might find that doing this will require you to remove the text outline anyways, as it will likely become distracting at this size. Right now the text is heavy and clunky, you want it to be a footnote to the part of the piece you obviously put the most work into. Make its dimensions somehow relate to the car itself, such as the width between the wheels or something. Just glancing at the car itself, the horizontal chrome lines on the grill would be a nice figure to ratio to the text: Take the whole height of the car's grill, then make that the Cap height of the text. Play around with different ratios to see what is comfortable.

The logo. Again, this element is huge and overwhelming. It's literally pressing down on your car, and it's currently the most visually dominant element in the composition. Your car is subtle and light, so my eye keeps getting drawn back up to the dark, oppressive logo, which then pushes me back down again. After you've shrunk the text to an appropriate size, take the logo and shrink it down. A lot. Again, make it proprotional to the car; by now, since the text should have a relationship with the car, you're relating everything in the composition to each other. Then decide on a placement of the logo. It should perhaps be placed somewhere that highlights its relationship to the text, so if the width of the logo == the width of one of the words, place it above or below that word. Perhaps placing it elsewhere would be fine as well; subtlely reinforcing the relationship without forcing it too much. I would place the logo and text in one of the bottom corners, as these seem to be the positions favored by car manufacturers. Another option is dead center, but I'd be cautious of this approach, as it can come off as looking something like a trophy plaque. Play around with the placement (giving it appropriate padding against the border of the image, but not too much). You will probably need to move the car around as well.

Lastly, the background. To be honest, if all you're going to add some perspective lines and call it a day, leave a simple radial gradient background. The point of the portfolio piece isn't to show that you can draw straight lines to represent a room, but to showcase your work as being professional. If you aren't willing to spend as much time on the background as you are on the car, just make it as simple as possible.

I hate to sound too harsh, but as it stands, you're undermining your work and making it look cheap. So please, before you consider this one "in the can," give it another go and make it look like the professional piece it deserves to be!

03-19-2007, 08:09 AM	#16 (permalink)
bermuDa don't ignore this--> Location: CA	I love the Illustrator work, but the final product feels rushed. If this is going into your portfolio, I would recommend redoing the composition. While I like the idea of stating the car's name and displaying the logo; their size and placement cramp the real work that's on show here--the car. For the text: It's far too big and busy. The font itself may fit the mood, but it's not really necessary to have such a complicated gradient with a competing gradient stroke. If you wish to keep the stroke, consider making it solid or some variation instead of a horizontal multi-banded gradient. Also, I hope that you are using the proper method of stroking text (on the outside, behind the text), instead of unnecessarily invading both the positive and negative space of the font. The numbers need to be more carefully kerned; partially because of the outline and partially because of the numbers themselves, the 1 and 9 are making out and leaving the 4 and 8 holding hands at a distance. Whether the stroke stays or goes, the numbers need to be kerned. Also, they seem to be set on a higher baseline than "Town." If they were aligned with the top of the T, it's distracting for two reasons. 1) the word "Town" has one capital letter followed by several lower case letters, making the baseline already far more dominant than the cap height, and 2) since this is a stylized font, the top of the T actually comes to a point, which is a very precarious place to create a horizontal relationship with another group of text. Furthermore, the arm (of the T) is at an angle that further throws off the horizontal balance of the text. Now that those issues have been addressed, what to do about placement? Personally, I would take the whole 1948 Town & Country text block and shrink it to maybe, 50% of what it is now. You might find that doing this will require you to remove the text outline anyways, as it will likely become distracting at this size. Right now the text is heavy and clunky, you want it to be a footnote to the part of the piece you obviously put the most work into. Make its dimensions somehow relate to the car itself, such as the width between the wheels or something. Just glancing at the car itself, the horizontal chrome lines on the grill would be a nice figure to ratio to the text: Take the whole height of the car's grill, then make that the Cap height of the text. Play around with different ratios to see what is comfortable. The logo. Again, this element is huge and overwhelming. It's literally pressing down on your car, and it's currently the most visually dominant element in the composition. Your car is subtle and light, so my eye keeps getting drawn back up to the dark, oppressive logo, which then pushes me back down again. After you've shrunk the text to an appropriate size, take the logo and shrink it down. A lot. Again, make it proprotional to the car; by now, since the text should have a relationship with the car, you're relating everything in the composition to each other. Then decide on a placement of the logo. It should perhaps be placed somewhere that highlights its relationship to the text, so if the width of the logo == the width of one of the words, place it above or below that word. Perhaps placing it elsewhere would be fine as well; subtlely reinforcing the relationship without forcing it too much. I would place the logo and text in one of the bottom corners, as these seem to be the positions favored by car manufacturers. Another option is dead center, but I'd be cautious of this approach, as it can come off as looking something like a trophy plaque. Play around with the placement (giving it appropriate padding against the border of the image, but not too much). You will probably need to move the car around as well. Lastly, the background. To be honest, if all you're going to add some perspective lines and call it a day, leave a simple radial gradient background. The point of the portfolio piece isn't to show that you can draw straight lines to represent a room, but to showcase your work as being professional. If you aren't willing to spend as much time on the background as you are on the car, just make it as simple as possible. I hate to sound too harsh, but as it stands, you're undermining your work and making it look cheap. So please, before you consider this one "in the can," give it another go and make it look like the professional piece it deserves to be! __________________ I am the very model of a moderator gentleman.