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Originally Posted by abaya
.. why did you use the word "victim," if that's the very concept you're trying to avoid? It's just a bit confusing, that's all.
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Hm. Poor choice of words, you're right. Perhaps I meant "victim", in quotes... Just like with rape, one is a "victim" if one says one is a victim.
I'm not talking about the law here. The law is a hammer, and from the legalistic point of view, everything looks like a nail. I'm talking about how individuals deal with their lives. Whether or not the law says you "are" a victim, BEING a victim about it is a choice that leaves you with no freedom or ability to be powerful in the face of it. It's bigger than you, you have no control over it, etc, etc, etc. On the plus side, you don't have to be responsible for the situation, or anything else in your life. You can always justify ANYTHING in terms of the victim that you are. It's a perfectly valid choice, and there are plenty of people who might agree with you or even try to talk you into it. But it completely robs your power.