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Something that worked when I had flat-mates was to keep a chores diary - just jot down what you do and how long you spend doing it.
Psychologists tell us* that men note how long they spend or how hard they work (i.e. washing the car is more of a job than doing the laundry), but women count tasks (so separating the colours and whites, loading the wshing machine, transfering to the dryer, and then folding the dry clothes is for times the work of painting the outside of the house).
This may help her to realise how much work each of you is doing.
It is vital that this is a participative, non-confrontational activity.
NOTE*: This is a gross oversimplification - please do not pick holes in it; it's illustrative, rather than total.
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Overhead, the Albatross hangs motionless upon the air,
And deep beneath the rolling waves,
In labyrinths of Coral Caves,
The Echo of a distant time
Comes willowing across the sand;
And everthing is Green and Submarine
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