The answer to your query, Hagatha, depends on the people involved. For me, Feminism has provided me with the latitude to have a successful career, financial independence and hence the freedom to date from desire instead of to find a breadwinner. I am fiercely independent but I still prefer men who are gentleman, value women as ladies and are romantic. And yes, you ought to value yourself as special and men who don't get this are best avoided!
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