If you're looking to me to define a "fetish-too-far", I can try. I guess it's easier to define the inverse first:
- Involves people with enough emotional maturity to consent
- Will not purposefully affect the short-term or long-term health of any partner
- Will not cause longterm physical harm or death
I've been as careful as I can in the wording here to allow for as many variations as my mind can handle. One fetish that Dan Savage picks on occassionally is folks that are into amputees, and I had that in mind when I separated the last two points. Being into fucking amuptees is fine and it fits well within these 3 items. However, having you partner cut off their arm because you like fucking amputees is unhealthy.
At the same time, I've heard of "bug chasers" from my gay friends. These are guys that have unprotected sex with multiple partners in the hopes of getting the HIV virus. I'm not entirely certain that they aren't an urban legend or at the very least a misunderstood group of very careless individuals, but they would certainly fall over the boundary that I've set up if the claims are true.
What do you think? Did I miss something? Is it worth continued discussion?
Edit: I suppose that I should also add something along the lines of adequate safety measures taken to prevent illness, permanent injury or death, but I don't quite know how to word it.