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Originally Posted by IT2002
Congrats on your two-years plus and counting.
I would say though, that because you haven't lost interest in this guy yet(it has only been two years), you haven't addressed the issue of how you would leave this guy if you did. I haven't heard you dispute the "once a cheater, always a cheater".
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Well, to dispute that, I can say there have been times that I have lost interest, the relationship became complicated, it didn't have the same flair as it once did, it didn't feel even and there wasn't a way that I could find to fix it... all the usual reasons that I bailed/cheated/went hunting.
Also, I lose interest in relationships much earlier than two years, so that time frame isn't something to dismiss.
However, the reason that I didn't go hunting for a new one is because this time, I felt the relationship was different and that he was a person i didn't want to let down/be unfaithful to. I felt like it was something I wanted to fight for and make it work out, and we did make it through those times.
I'm just saying that with cheaters, at least this one anyway, that sometimes finding the right person is the reason the person stops cheating. I can't say that with the original poster's situation that there is some way to detect that (other then encouraging her to be straight forward with him and not getting upset when she does) but I am saying that just because she cheated, doesn't mean she's a lost cuase.
After all, plenty of people go all the way, get married, have several years together and then end up cheating.
There is no guarentee.
I hope this clarification helps. I just wanted to make sure he didn't just go "oh yeah, cheater means bad person, can never reform" and ditch the whole situation. I do believe it's something to keep in mind, but the whole black balling because of the cheating thing, I think is a bit extreme.