View Single Post
Old 11-20-2006, 12:18 PM   #1 (permalink)
Daniel_
Evil Priest: The Devil Made Me Do It!
 
Daniel_'s Avatar
 
Location: Southern England
Please tell me that this is not real

I saw this on another forum today, and I hope it's certainly not true - sounds horrific.

Has anyone tried it?

http://www.splange.freeserve.co.uk/memes/nettles.txt

Quote:
Use of Stinging Nettles
-----------------------

I have not so far found any literature on the use of stinging nettles to bring about a temporary penis enlargement.

The following is based on experience. It is clearly not suitable for any one allergic to stinging nettles. Arm yourself with a pair of thick gloves. Cut down a good quantity of fresh nettles. The best ones are young with pliable stems. A shopping bag full is about fine.Take a nettle and brush it against the head of your penis. If you haven't got an erection so far, this should bring one on. It doesn't hurt much, the sensation is rather good in fact. Brush some more nettles against your penis, the shaft as well. Gradually a rash will appear and little bumps. Keep going. The more you do, the greater the numbing effect so the next bit will be easier. Take a handful of nettles and crush them hard onto your penis. This may hurt, but rub them in well.

You can also take a nettle stalk (which is also covered in stingers) and wrap it around the shaft or behind the head. This is a good way of getting the poison in. Keep going with more nettles. As the poison gets in, the small bumps will join up. This is the desired effect.

As you keep on, the bumps turn into a large all over swelling. The more you do, the greater the swelling until your penis will be stretched real tight, bursting against its skin. I find an increase of about 50% in girth over a normal erection. The sensation is now between pain and pleasure.The nettles hurt, but the penis becomes super sensitive. As you go on the sensitivity will increase. Eventually you will reach the point where the sensitivity takes over from the pain.

Now your penis will start throbbing, but each throb will bring you closer and closer to orgasm. You can try to resist it, but it can be hard because chances are you will come without even touching your penis, the throbbing doing the job for you. The orgasm is intense - as much pain as pleasure. After orgasm you may remain quite erect, and a second spontaneous orgasm is possible within a very short time.

When finally flaccid, the penis will retain its girth but shorten, creating a massive, heavy weight swinging between your legs.The sensation will have gone, leaving your penis very numb to the touch.

A really weird feeling. Gradually - very gradually, the swelling will go down, but a huge lump may hang below the frenum for some time - a day or more. Now the skin has been so stretched it is very sore, and the sensation may make sleep difficult. Over the next few days the skin may start to peel off in a thin layer, leaving a new layer of soft skin underneath. Whether there is any permanent increase in size I couldn't say, but I guess the effect should be the same as a pump, if from the inside rather than the out.

Rubbing the stinging nettles into the scrotum and the anus can produce a good feel, but there is no swelling in the same way as the penis. You can also try filling your pants with nettles and taking a train ride. To do this, wear two pairs of pants, slip penis and scrotum through the fly of the first, and wrap over them a plastic bag full of nettles tied on loose with a rubber band.Try keeping a straight face as you walk, jog, cycle or ride a bumpy train.

(Ed's note: Dude! This is pretty fucked-up right here!)
__________________
╔═════════════════════════════════════════╗
Overhead, the Albatross hangs motionless upon the air,
And deep beneath the rolling waves,
In labyrinths of Coral Caves,
The Echo of a distant time
Comes willowing across the sand;
And everthing is Green and Submarine

╚═════════════════════════════════════════╝
Daniel_ is offline  
 

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 247 248 249 250 251 252 253 254 255 256 257 258 259 260 261 262 263 264 265 266 267 268 269 270 271 272 273 274 275 276 277 278 279 280 281 282 283 284 285 286 287 288 289 290 291 292 293 294 295 296 297 298 299 300 301 302 303 304 305 306 307 308 309 310 311 312 313 314 315 316 317 318 319 320 321 322 323 324 325 326 327 328 329 330 331 332 333 334 335 336 337 338 339 340 341 342 343 344 345 346 347 348 349 350 351 352 353 354 355 356 357 358 359 360