noodle

Everyone gets defensive and hurt. Asking someone to emote too much can be painful for either one. In my previous situation, I was the one not expressing my emotions enough until a situation got out of hand or intolerable. But at the same time, I'd expect him to be open with me when something was up. We knew each other long enough to pick up on behavior cues and patterns, but I was the one who kept pushing the openness without reciprocating. In my experience, people hold grudges or tuck things away until they build up too big to contain and that's counter productive. I realized later how I liked to hear what he was feeling or what was going on and I didn't allow him that priviledge from me.

It is quite stereotypical to state that men are looked upon negatively for expressing emotion, but sometimes it's true. I've lived my life always expecting people to open up (Hi, My Name Is Reformed Mental Health Therapist) without reciprocating. And I've been accused of not being feminine enough all of the time, because I'll open my mouth at work or with friends if something is bothering me, but if it hurt me or ended up being emotional, I'd sit on it. It's a shame, though, because when the dialogue can be established regularly it creates a more trusting and open relationship. If anyone really figures out how to do that on a consistent basis, fill me in!

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