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Originally Posted by Gretsch Player
we came to the understanding that our ideal is the traditional marriage, but that making unrealistic promises to only ever sleep with one another is foolishness.
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I'm sorry, but this is insulting. I know you're here because left-leaning forums didn't give you the response you wanted, but calling the terms of traditional marriage foolishness isn't any better.
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Originally Posted by Gretsch Player
No one could ever promise that.
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Sure they can, didn't you during your vows?
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Originally Posted by Gretsch Player
It's just pure, traditionalist stupidity to me. I wish I had seen it that clearly before.
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Again, why are you insulting just about everyone? How is it that you have it right?
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Originally Posted by Gretsch Player
So, the reason for the post was to request definitions,
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I don't believe that for a second. You just wanted to get the response here that you didn't get in your other forum posts.
Personally, I have ZERO problem with the way you choose to run your marriage. People can run their lives however they see fit, as far as I'm concerned.
But don't look down upon me, or call me "unenlightened". If you want people to be accepting of your type of marriage, you need to at LEAST be AS accepting of everyone else's. Because as of this moment, I'm more liberal about this than you.
My wife and I choose fidelity. And just like you say some open marriages have one spouse who's simply not interested in looking for outside sex, why can't a marriage have two people like that? Why is that such a stretch?
I KNOW my wife isn't looking, and neither am I. We both love what we have. Our relationship and sex life is incredibly strong. We've been together for 15 years and I still enjoy her in the sack as much as I did when we were teenagers. We're the best of friends, too.
Have we had our problems? Sure, serious ones, too. But we don't have outside sex. We don't go on dates with others. I'm not a jealous man (she'd be the first to tell you), but a spouse who does things to provoke jealousy (intentionally or inconsiderately) is another issue.
And truth is, **IF** she cheated on me, I'd forgive her at least once, because I'm not willing to lose half my life's history to one bad choice. I'd never tell her that up front, mostly because she'd be insulted that I'd even consider she would....and I
don't think she ever would.