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Jimellow · 09-23-2006, 04:31 AM

Sounds like you live around a lot of assholes.

I also am a very nice person, but I generally am only nice to those I know. The unknowns I generally ignore, unless prompted.

Also, being nice doesn't necessarily mean you are obligated to take shit from people. I'm only really concerned with being nice to those I care about, but random assholes are not worth the effort.

Being "cool" in society seems to often be tied in very closely to being an asshole, as raising one's status above another (in the eyes of peers) often comes as a result of degrading or defacing someone else. It's unfortunate, but it's reality.

Personally, I would not stop being nice. I would stop taking shit from assholes - you won't lose the nice guy label in the eyes of those that matter - because there is no benefit to putting up with their bullshit.

I certainly would not stop being nice with the intent of getting a girl. Regardless of whether assholes get the girls or not, if you truly aren't one, you will be faking, and ultimately doing a disservice to both you and your partner. You can't change others, and you shouldn't change yourself; at least not in the direction you are possibly desiring.

Being a nice guy myself, I've been taken advantage of, taken for granted, fallen out of contact with "friends" until they suddenly needed a favor, etc. With time you realize who are friends, and who are just acquaintances. It's something you have to deal with, and the above instances often seem to be a result from people finding the pleasant benefits of a true "nice guy," not putting things into perspective, and taking advantage of the said nice guy, without necessarily holding up their end of the friendship. I'm a firm believer that friendships take work, and many people just aren't willing to put forth any sort of effort, instead just reaping the benefits for free.

Lastly, I would recommend you be true to your self. You have to be selfish and do what's best for you, because generally there aren't many people out there looking out for any of us. The individual is most important, and while there is still plenty of time to be friendly and help others, you also must look out for your own best interests first.

09-23-2006, 04:31 AM	#23 (permalink)
Jimellow Junkie	Sounds like you live around a lot of assholes. I also am a very nice person, but I generally am only nice to those I know. The unknowns I generally ignore, unless prompted. Also, being nice doesn't necessarily mean you are obligated to take shit from people. I'm only really concerned with being nice to those I care about, but random assholes are not worth the effort. Being "cool" in society seems to often be tied in very closely to being an asshole, as raising one's status above another (in the eyes of peers) often comes as a result of degrading or defacing someone else. It's unfortunate, but it's reality. Personally, I would not stop being nice. I would stop taking shit from assholes - you won't lose the nice guy label in the eyes of those that matter - because there is no benefit to putting up with their bullshit. I certainly would not stop being nice with the intent of getting a girl. Regardless of whether assholes get the girls or not, if you truly aren't one, you will be faking, and ultimately doing a disservice to both you and your partner. You can't change others, and you shouldn't change yourself; at least not in the direction you are possibly desiring. Being a nice guy myself, I've been taken advantage of, taken for granted, fallen out of contact with "friends" until they suddenly needed a favor, etc. With time you realize who are friends, and who are just acquaintances. It's something you have to deal with, and the above instances often seem to be a result from people finding the pleasant benefits of a true "nice guy," not putting things into perspective, and taking advantage of the said nice guy, without necessarily holding up their end of the friendship. I'm a firm believer that friendships take work, and many people just aren't willing to put forth any sort of effort, instead just reaping the benefits for free. Lastly, I would recommend you be true to your self. You have to be selfish and do what's best for you, because generally there aren't many people out there looking out for any of us. The individual is most important, and while there is still plenty of time to be friendly and help others, you also must look out for your own best interests first. __________________ Desperation is no excuse for lowering one's standards.