clavus

What’s the difference between soap and detergent? There must be a difference. You never see body detergent or hand detergent? And what does “detergent” mean anyway?

I use decongestant when I am congested, and defoliant when I have too much foliage. So when I use laundry detergent, I figure my clothes must be...terged(?).

“Terged” – another way to say “covered in beer and nachos.”

Anyway... there I was, pushing a shopping cart down the dairy aisle. I was pushing forward, looking left, trying to figure out which aisle to turn into to get my dishwashing detergent. My concentration on this enormous task was interrupted by a rather attractive young lady who was dressed for warm weather, but feeling the effects of the cool air, if you catch my drift.

So I was pushing forward, glancing left, and trying to look at this girl and trying not to look like was looking at her when I realized that I was passing the detergent aisle. And jusst when I realized this, she looked over at me, and I looked her right in the eye, turned a hard left, and crashed into the toothbrushes.

The end of the aisle had this big display of toothbrushes hung on a coroplast board, and I knocked the living shit it. I shattered the mounting brackets on one side, and the whole thing canted wildly into the detergent aisle. Toothbrushes flew everywhere.

So I started trying to hang them back up, but they wouldn’t stay on, because the whole thing was catywompus. Then I tried to fix it, but that was impossible, because I BROKE it. And dear GOD, the cute, thin-shirted woman came over and started trying to help me, and I was trying to act cool, (Like "It's OK baby. I do this kind of thing all the time") then she sort of threw up her hands and walked off to buy whatever cute girls eat while they tell their friends about stupid assholes at the grocery store...

Detergent.

I guess the difference between detergent and soap is that you don’t make an ass out of yourself looking for soap.

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