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Looking back at what I have written here, it may be entirely too deep and soul-searching for this thread. But here goes:
I try not to ignore preminitions, nor to let them get the best of me. I've come to analyze them, and I find that as one takes a logical stance on the paranormal, it becomes more tangible. I like going with premonitions while shopping. It streamlines the process. Each time I have found a "memory-to-be" associated with an item, it's like a flash of a memory, and I remember that it's my favorite, I just get it. If it's clothes, there's no point in trying them on. They always fit perfectly.
But then again there are times when I go against premonitions. Nothing horrible has happened yet. Turbotom didn't believe that I could sense things "dangit, this pet fish will die by the time I get home from work," etc. until he started to see it as a genuine trend, then began "seeing" too. His best childhood friend vouches that Tt has always been able to see things, but has always ignored them or attributed it to logical deduction or common sense. Tt started believing the day that I was raped, and he sensed it as it was happening. Too bad he didn't know soon enough to warn me, too bad I was too tired to take the premonition that I had that day seriously.
Several other bad things could have happened... but there seems to be a guardian angel there to land my car precisely between two trees (last year) or throw me back from jumping through a broken glass door (age 9). Both instances, someone watched. An off-duty highway patrolman was two cars behind me when I swerved to avoid a condor on a highway. He watched as my car made illogical turns across three lanes of rush-hour traffic and landed precisely between two large trees, tires blown out, windows crushed, and me in shock but entirely safe and sound. He stuck around, borrowed my cell phone to call the highway patrol, encouraged me to step out of the car and see if I was in pain at all, then helped the highway patrol write out the report.
Age 9, it was night, I went into my backyard to gather a sweatshirt that I had left on the swingset. I ran back to the house quickly because I was afraid of the darkness. I didn't know that the large sliding glass door was closed, ran right for it. I hit the glass full-force. It broke with jagged edges. My mother was standing there, watching in horror. Logical sense would have sent me through the jagged glass. My body bounced back and I landed in a crouch on the floor, as though I were simply bending my knees to look down at something on the ground. I stood up easily and didn't know what happened I should have been on the other side with my mom. I looked at the glass. My mom asked how I moved that quickly. I didn't.
My parents, being Mormon (belonging to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints), attribute my "acute knowledge" of the world to visions, gifts from God, guardian angels, "the workings of the Spirit," and "The Gift of the Holy Ghost" who is said to be with me always since the day my father gave me a blessing after my baptism at age 8. My mother often asks my opinion on greater spiritual matters that she cannot understand, seeking insight from her daughter that she believes to be "of stronger spiritual heritage" than herself.
I attribute these to blessings, indeed. Most definitely from a loving God, and my father's ability to bestow blessings as well. But I do not view their religion the way they do and therefore cause them a great deal of heartache. My mother trusts that I keep God with me always, but she makes it clear that she does not understand me or my choices to separate from her cherished faith. She somehow believes that I should attribute these powers that we all have the potential to posess to the religion itself, rather than viewing the religion as a means to tap into those powers and change oneself through the power itself.
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"Sometimes I have to remember that things are brought to me for a reason, either for my own lessons or for the benefit of others." Cynthetiq
"violence is no more or less real than non-violence." roachboy
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