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Ok first of all, don't write her a letter, and don't tell her why you're not going to the party.
Accept the invitation in a few days, telling her you were too busy to get back to her.
Don't attend.
If she has any feelings at all for you (friends or otherwise) then she will contact you asking you why you didn't attend within a few days after the party.
If she doesn't contact you, then there isn't much there.
People get used to having someone around and they take that for granted. When that person is no longer around they start to realise what they're missing, and they persue it.
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