Step number one of "how to not be a doormat" is to stop letting people walk all over you. She's 19. Tell her to do it, and if she wants to play the dumb card, say you'll supervise her. Then you can stand and watch, verbally giving any advice she needs. Don't touch anything, though. 
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"The question isn't who is going to let me, it's who is going to stop me." (Ayn Rand)
"The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers." (M. Scott Peck)
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