Am i stupid?
Ok, I know that is a loaded question but...
I got As and Bs in high school, and graduated with a 3.0 GPA in aeronautics at the university (2.5 years, taking 18-28 credits per semester, going summer fall and spring).
Now on paper that looks pretty good.... but here is the thing.
I am considering the prospect of graduate school and in the process of that I have been attending some lectures on physics (want to go to grad school for aeronautical engineering).
Thoughout these lectuers, I am revisiting theroies, techniques, etc that I once "learned" before (ie, studied for the test, got a good grade but never really understood it).
These include things like understanding momentum problems, chemistry problems, calculus problems.
I can "see" the whole thing better now.... Like, for example, calculating how much a certain ammount of a chemical weighs using moles.
Now, I could do it before...I did it on the tests and got As. I got straight As in chemistry.... but ....I "get it" now.... I can see the problem on a correlation level...
A side note...levels of learning... Rote, Understanding, Application, Correlation....Correlation being the highest, rote the lowest...
I think when I was younger (just a few years ago) I could only get the physics/math/chemsitry problems on a rote level....maybe some on an understanding level...but for the most part I just was able to get the As by memorizing how to do a problem without actually learning what it meant...applying it...etc.
I dont know if this is a result of being in a rush....in a rush to finish college (28 credits/semester doesnt leave much time for understanding) or if I was operating at a lower mental capacity during that time.
I have a lot of pride riding on my smarts...but Im seriously questioning whether I am truly smart, or just good at playing the college game.
aside from a serious identity issue with all of this (ie, the smart kid)...this has serious implications about whether I should go to grad school. I really would like to be a test pilot (requires aero engineering degree)...but am afraid I am not smart enough. Being a test pilot requires a correlation level of understanding of math/physics. You can't just be able to do a probem in some text book, you need to be able to apply and correlate real data using real science in real life....that is hard.
The only reason I would go to aero engineering school is to be a test pilot...so if I am not cut out for it, id rather not waste the time and effort to get the degree.
I know in the end it is my own decision, but I have no one to talk to about this and need to get it off my chest.
thanks for reading
__________________
there is no absolute, only the moment.
Last edited by Washington; 07-03-2006 at 05:20 PM..
|