Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - Your most stupid, dangerous and/or funny jerkoff stunt

guthmund · 06-28-2006, 03:41 PM

I don't have a stupid, dangerous and/or funny jerkoff stunt. I'm afraid I only deal in incredibly embarassing ones.

I had a roommate share this one with me over lunch. It's cobbled together from what he told me and what I learned from her through a mutual friend. So, it's story by proxy, if that's alright.

My roommate and I worked together. I was low man on the management totem pole and wore a tie, he worked the kitchens and screwed around with the waitresses.

My roommate and his girl du'jour were in his room the previous afternoon and it was getting pretty hot and heavy. They dropped trou and she lept on the bed and began masturbating. Needless to say this got my roommate's full attention and he began jerking off at the foot of the bed. She's really getting into it and decides to flip around and lay down on her back with her head hanging off the bed. He walks over to get a better look because he still wants to rub one out before the main event (this was ritual, he told me. Made him perform better, he said).

So, there they are, her on her back head hanging off the end of the bed and he standing over her. One thing leads to another and she starts (and I really don't know how to say this in polite company) sucking his balls.

Somewhere along the way, something tickles her nose and she thinks she's going to sneeze. The kind of sneeze that shakes your whole body. A big, wet sneeze. She, sort of a reflex reaction thing, brings her hands up real fast towards her face to stifle it. My roommate, who has no idea what's going on, just sees two hands coming real fast towards his most precious possession and he freaks out and tries to get himself out of the way.

Turns out she didn't have to sneeze at all and she missed nailing my roommate in the nutsack completely. Unfortunately, when he tried to catch himself, he stumbled and fell backwards, hit his head on the dresser and, he thinks, blacked out for a moment.

They were both pretty horrified about the whole thing. She gathered up her clothes and hit the door running leaving my roommate on the floor still very naked. They were incredibly uncomfortable with each other for a couple of weeks and then she went back to school and he went back to...well, other waitresses

06-28-2006, 03:41 PM	#14 (permalink)
guthmund big damn hero	I don't have a stupid, dangerous and/or funny jerkoff stunt. I'm afraid I only deal in incredibly embarassing ones. I had a roommate share this one with me over lunch. It's cobbled together from what he told me and what I learned from her through a mutual friend. So, it's story by proxy, if that's alright. My roommate and I worked together. I was low man on the management totem pole and wore a tie, he worked the kitchens and screwed around with the waitresses. My roommate and his girl du'jour were in his room the previous afternoon and it was getting pretty hot and heavy. They dropped trou and she lept on the bed and began masturbating. Needless to say this got my roommate's full attention and he began jerking off at the foot of the bed. She's really getting into it and decides to flip around and lay down on her back with her head hanging off the bed. He walks over to get a better look because he still wants to rub one out before the main event (this was ritual, he told me. Made him perform better, he said). So, there they are, her on her back head hanging off the end of the bed and he standing over her. One thing leads to another and she starts (and I really don't know how to say this in polite company) sucking his balls. Somewhere along the way, something tickles her nose and she thinks she's going to sneeze. The kind of sneeze that shakes your whole body. A big, wet sneeze. She, sort of a reflex reaction thing, brings her hands up real fast towards her face to stifle it. My roommate, who has no idea what's going on, just sees two hands coming real fast towards his most precious possession and he freaks out and tries to get himself out of the way. Turns out she didn't have to sneeze at all and she missed nailing my roommate in the nutsack completely. Unfortunately, when he tried to catch himself, he stumbled and fell backwards, hit his head on the dresser and, he thinks, blacked out for a moment. They were both pretty horrified about the whole thing. She gathered up her clothes and hit the door running leaving my roommate on the floor still very naked. They were incredibly uncomfortable with each other for a couple of weeks and then she went back to school and he went back to...well, other waitresses __________________ No signature. None. Seriously. Last edited by guthmund; 06-28-2006 at 03:46 PM..