I've not seen bamboo go leaping out of a container and spread, but it must be true. Perhaps bamboo in an above gound, decorative container would serve.
I loved my Oleander in NoCal, but it was as common as dirt as all the freeway medians had them. I had an African Tree Fern that was beautiful, but I don't think it would support an Oriental garden motif. Hedge plants are meant to be sheared and shaped; again not a compliment to bonzai.
I seem to have misread your op. I think of bamboo as a privacy screen, but you haven't indicated that that was your purpose. From what you have described of your property and the neighborhood, I would recommend a water feature. Either a water fall or water fall with pool would work very well and home kits are available for the less than clever folks like myself. Lotus plants and koi in the pool would be very Zen like.
I hope you will share photos of the before and after. It sound like a great project.