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Okay. I took a long break. (3 or 4 hours.. long for me!)
one night i was going to the cemetary and nothing about the day was any different than any other. no meds change, no mood swings, no odd weather. Ordinary Boring Day.
so i'm going down the road when i'm hit with an electrical feeling... in a major way and i felt myself ... pulled toward it and i saw it rush to me then poof i'm back in my chair driving. it all happened in like one second, if that long. i remember stopping driving and shaking my head, wondering if i had a seizure or something. after replaying and self diagnoses i went ahead and went... when i got this it is as if someone took over my mood. i felt a major wave of shock and fear, then anger. i told myself this just isn't me and i hauled ass. when i got home i felt fine.
now most people would feel all kinds of shit if they had a seizure or something. no doubt. but remember, my body is very different and i am use to changing on a dime. i've lalmost croaked in two minutes flat a couple of times by this point. i was wigged out due to the episode.
oh yeah. on my way to the cemetary at first a wire came unplugged in my chair, stranding me about half way. nice! lovely feeling! my brother saw me, came by, hooked it back up... the wire could not have jangled loose. it looked to had been physically unplugged.
the next morning i got to go back...... and there was a funeral being held. i called my grandfather to see just what was going on over there and he told me at 9:13 or so an old lady had passed away. the time she passed was the time i went for my walk.
at this moment in time i just didn't know what to think.... that night i went back again. i am not easily scared off and i'm exceptionally ballsy. i wouldn't let my niece go, though.. anyhow, i went and i went up to the gate and leaned on it and felt nothing. i felt silly but i was alone nand asked out loud if i did something wrong. no answers of course. then BOOM. emotions not of my own again. fear, anger and then a strong unwanted feeling. this time i left with ssome dignity and then like a kid when i was out of sight i hauled ass again.
at this point i was wigging out and i could find no answers anywhere. my parents believed me somewhat but no help. i needed to get back and face it down because i know my niece could slip off there (she was only five) and if she was harmed ... i couldn't let that happen. and also i fixed the flowers and all at the site when they'd fall over.
so i logged on to an old BBS and found a woman who at one time was a witch but bowed out of it due to some bad temptations. she no longer trusted herself not to do bad things. ihave known her for years so we talked in length and her figuring is this
i was going there when the woman died. somehow, though no body was yet buried, she was pulled to the site. somehow, she hit me. thus me seeing the cemetary "come to me" during that little spell. you know in books how, if a person turns upside down or falls they say 'the road rushed up to meet him'? that's how it felt,
so somehow she... went trhough me, and for a split second i saw through her eyes and senses and i think it is why i had the troublesome emotions afterwards.
so i went bck again... and i went straight up and spoke out that if i had offended, i was sorry. fifi had to go, i would, but i had been helping out and wished to continue. i plead. then i told them something silly i cannot recall, a type of warning to not fuck with my niece.
from that night on the only emotion i had there was peace.
-shrug-
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