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I think before I can answer this question a clear definition of needed has to be established.
Is there anyone in this world who could not survive without me? No and that's how it should be. In mature relationships (note that children and other dependents are not included under that umbrella) that level of need is unhealthy and unsatisfying. That's the point where it becomes restricting.
Do I want to be 'needed' in the sense that people depend on me? Well, yeah. I'd like to think that I'm making a mark on this world. It bothers me a bit that I could die tomorrow and there would be no real negative consequences, aside from grief caused. There is no one in my life who needs me; I have two close friends who are both every bit as independent as I am, my family drifts further apart by the day and I am very much a non-essential member of the team at work (one could argue that there is no such thing as an essential team member in my line of work). There are those who would be upset by my death, but I recognize that none of those people need me in any meaningful sense of the word.
The contradiction to that is that I am very independent. I'm stubborn and emotionally guarded and have big issues with needing others in my life. I needed my ex-girlfriend; she provided me with love, validation and somewhere to lean when I just didn't have enough strength of my own. Not having her in my life isn't going to kill me. I am still independent and I still suffer through like I always have, but I also recognize that I'm worse off for not having her. That's a level of need that I don't think is bad; I have a feeling that this is what BigBen and others were referring to. If it's taken to the level of co-dependency, if I am unable to function through daily life without someone, then it's unhealthy. But there is a level of it that is okay.
Being wanted goes without saying. Nobody wants to be alone.
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I wake up in the morning more tired than before I slept
I get through cryin' and I'm sadder than before I wept
I get through thinkin' now, and the thoughts have left my head
I get through speakin' and I can't remember, not a word that I said
- Ben Harper, Show Me A Little Shame
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