Gilda, Please don't worry about hijacking this thread by posting your own stories. I shouldn't even be using the word hijack, because you wouldn't be. Anyone reading my stories or your stories (or anyone else's stories) can benefit, and the more people that benefit, the better.
UPDATE
Ok. Today, was decent. After class, I hung out at a club room like last week and started watching TV. Two people walked in after a while and they started watching with me. I though to myself: "Ok, time to get into GROUP social mode". I started talking to them, commenting on the TV program, and just hanging out. These people were complete strangers, and I'd have to say things went well. I made sure to keep the focus on the group. It was a small group, but a group nonetheless.
As I was leaving, I walked up one of them and asked: what was your name? He replied, and I extended my hand. I then told hime my name. I intentionally introduced myself to the person I had the most rapport with. ok. I should take a break here for a side note.
rapport is important. I've found it's easier to talk to people when building rapport is the first objective, even before keeping a conversation going. This sounds pretty weird, but... I guess it works. I can't quite put my finger on it, but this seems to be helping. I wish I could elaborate ...
So by visiting that club room today, I had a
very successful social experience. I was quite pleased upon leaving.
Later that day, I planned to go to a club meeting later that night. Before going, I decided to google up some stuff on rapport and interpersonal communication skills. While surfing, I made a cheat sheet of important things I've learned related to developing social skills. After creating a list, I was trying to see how to change the order of what I had written to make it easier to remember. But what I soon noticed was that I had an acronym in front of me without changing the order of anything! It was completely by accident.
R apport
I nterested, not interesting
N ot caring about the opinions of others
G roup focus
O pen posture
The club meeting was ok. I just felt a bit reserved. The club is a bit cliquey I felt and ... I don't know. I was just very quiet and didn't feel ... all that great. But once the meeting ended, I think some of the people picked up on my feelings and tried to make me feel more welcome. That was nice of them. The good news though was that the whole not caring thing has been working really well. Even though I didn't speak up at this meeting, it helped me stay mostly calm during the meeting. I'm going to try to focus on the positive. This club meeting was a meeting for the board of the club and concerned members. The format of the meeting really didn't allow for a "Oh! Let's all get to know each other" time. So maybe that's why things didn't go too terribly well.
I have something else lined up tonight. Hopefully I'll do better, but I'll be going with people I know, so it might be harder to be ... social.