02-22-2006, 08:30 PM
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#2 (permalink)
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Insane
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hate to be a party pooper, but here's the same joke/ different version that was posted here probably a year ago. (only reason i remember is b/c it has been one of my favorites)
Quote:
Two old friends are just about to tee off at the first hole of their local golf course when a guy carrying a golf bag calls out to them,
"Do you mind if join you? My partner didn't turn up."
"Sure," they say, "You're welcome."
So they start playing and enjoy the game and the company of the newcomer.Part way around the course, one of the friends asks the guy,
"So, what do you do for a living?"
"I'm a hit man."
"You're joking!"
"No, I'm not," he says, reaching into his golf bag, and pulling out a beautiful Martini sniper's rifle with a large telescopic sight.
"Here are my tools."
"That's a beautiful telescopic sight," says the other friend, "Can I take a look? I think I might be able to see my house from here."
So he picks up the rifle and looks through the sight in the direction of his house.
"Yeah, I can see my house all right. This sight is fantastic! I can see right in the window!"
"Wow, I can see my wife in the bedroom. Ha Ha, I can see she's naked! What's that? Wait a minute, that's my next-door neighbor in there with her..... He's naked, too! That bitch!" He turns to the hitman, "How much do you charge for a hit?"
"I do a flat rate, for you, one thousand dollars every time I pull the trigger."
"Can you do two for me now?"
"Sure, what do you want?"
"First, shoot my wife. She's always been mouthy, so shoot her in the mouth. Then the neighbor. He's actually a friend of mine, so just shoot his dick off to teach him a lesson."
The hitman takes out the rifle and takes aim, standing perfectly still for about a minute.
"Are you going to do it or not?" asks the friend impatiently.
"Just wait a second, be patient," says the hitman calmly, "I think I can save you a grand here....."
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