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Why, in fucks sake, doesn't ANY girl take interest in me, and every time they do, I always end up in the "friend's" category? I have every single thing a woman would want. I am good looking, rich, funny, young, have insane ambition, and have many, many friends. What makes all of you too good for me? I just don't understand! The ONLY thing I have against me is that my body is small, but I am not short. I have been offered to become a model, and I never talk about myself! Why do you feel like you can tell me about your relationships, that you can use me to "comfort" you when your asshole boyfriends say something mean? Why am I your intellectual whore? Why is it that every single time I get close to you, I suddenly loose all of your respect? Why is it this is how every girl treats me? I have tried everything. I have tried to be myself, to be nice, to be an asshole, EVERYTHING! Any why is it that when you tell me you aren't interested you won't tell me what I did wrong? Why do you always say the bullshit "You are too close a friend. I can't judge you because of that"?
What is it? Do I smell bad? Do I look goofy? Does my small body really turn you off that much? Am I too needy? JUST FUCKING TELL ME FOR CHRISTS SAKE! I am nineteen, and still a virgin! I haven't even been kissed! Do I give off this vibe, that you shouldn't touch me? And why is it that I loose interest in you so quickly? Why do you ask if I am gay? Why do you think I am a pussy? For god's sake, I jump off 100 ft cliffs for fun, smoke weed, and run from cops on a almost weekly basis! Am I too good for you? Please tell me. I have been told that I am too nice, or that I am too much of an asshole. And why is it that girls that I have no interest in whatsoever are the ones who fall in love with me? And when I go for the one's I don't like, the same fucking thing happens! Why do you think that because I am a virgin, I am innocent and pure? I have probably done and thought more unpure things than you and ten of your friends. Fuck it. from now on, I'm just going to go out there, looking to get laid. If you think I'm not worth it to get in a relationship, then I will only use you for sex. I will be an asshole. I will treat you like shit, just like the men you bitch to me about, yet will still fuck.
But I know I will never change.
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"If you can hear this whispering you are dying."- Pink Floyd
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