There is nothing wrong with looking out for yourself, especially in a relationship. The idea is that the overall equation of the relationship falls on the positive side by a good margin. Having a rocky relationship that is all highs and lows wouldn't be acceptable to me. I do know some people that can't really function unless there is drama in their lives, and they have to have those turbulant relationships.
Sometimes people are better off not together even though they are in love. Think Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee. I'm sure they love each other so much they get sick, but there's no way in hell that relationship is healthy. 
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"The question isn't who is going to let me, it's who is going to stop me." (Ayn Rand)
"The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers." (M. Scott Peck)
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