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I vote for a little alcohol as a relaxant... seriously. The first time I semi-enjoyed anal sex (instead of just tolerating it) was when I was pretty tipsy. My bf had gotten me pretty relaxed with his fingers and tongue, but having the chemical relaxation in effect is what made me decide to go ahead and try it again. It worked!
As for pppg's question... well, I have only had my bf cum in my ass once, and it's not a bad feeling. In fact, I hardly felt it at all, since I believe the ass has less sensitivity than the vagina (nerve-wise). Usually I enjoy feeling him cum, but this time I hardly noticed.
I was worried afterwards, however, that when I stood up the semen might seep into my vaginal opening (they are pretty darn close together, after all), so I wasn't as comfortable with that aspect of it. I am on BC but we use condoms when he cums inside my vagina, so there is very little danger of getting pregnant in that instance. We just don't like taking chances with that stuff at this point.
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And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran
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