This phenomenon takes two. Stereotypes have to be believed. I've known many gay guys in my life. If someone calls me a fag, it won't even phase me. However I'll call someone queer when I know it will hit a nerve.
The way I see it, the onus is on the one being insulted to be educated and informed. I can't babysit the world. I can't change people's minds. By calling someone a "pussy" or a "fag" all I am doing it soliciting to ideas that are already in their heads.
When it comes to respect. I respect everyone. I don't throw around insults very often. I may take jabs at people but it's all in good fun and they know it. The key is intent. One can insult another without using a single derogatory term. So if I tease someone with the word "fag" and they take it personally, that's their issue not mine.
So if we are both aware of the stereotype then it's a harmless joke. It only becomes dangerous when one party believes the stereotype.
With kids it's differnt. They don't have a fully developed view of the world. If an addult uses the world "girly" in refference to weakness they just might get the idea that girls are weak. So yes, we should watch out tounge around kids but the bubble we put them in will burst sooner or later. Thus it's imperative to educate them because knowledge gives them immunity. This is where PC people make the mistake, they fail to see the difference between prevention and solution.
This is my personal view of things. There are people out there who believe stereotypes and use them with the intent to insult. Censoring myself won't change their minds.
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