Language is a reflection of education. Those who use words like retarded or gay in a derogatory sense do so because they have no recourse; they lack the command of the english language to find a suitable alternative.
That being said, I tend to alter my vocabulary to reflect my environment. If I'm around warehouse workers or construction workers where such language is common, I will call someone a pussy or a cunt. In more educated groupings, that language isn't used. As a rule, if someone calls an individual a pussy, he isn't meaning to imply that he has one or is a girl, just that he lacks typically masculine traits such as strength and courage. The word has evolved beyond it's original meaning; words are wont to do that.
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I wake up in the morning more tired than before I slept
I get through cryin' and I'm sadder than before I wept
I get through thinkin' now, and the thoughts have left my head
I get through speakin' and I can't remember, not a word that I said
- Ben Harper, Show Me A Little Shame
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